Monday, May 09, 2011
Mother-in-Law
The relationship between Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is a point of stress world over, I guess. Most of us are aware of the mega soaps that run in India with both Saas and Bahu in the title. And then there is JLo's Monster-in-Law. There are also chats with girl-friends wherein you get to hear the occasional this and that. So when it was my time to find a mother-in-law I was only hoping that we are as cordial as possible by both of us. And by god's grace, so far it has been that. I'm sure my mom and aunts also had a similar wish. A couple of days before my wedding, one of my aunts (maasi) asked me, "So how do you address your MiL?". I instantly replied, "Atthe (Saas in kannada)." She wanted to know why not amma or maa coz lately that's how girls seem to be addressing their MiL. I said I did not find that necessary. Atthe is just the way to identify our relationship. The title certainly can't dictate the way I will or am supposed to feel. To add to this, I already have a mom. And have the possibility of addressing all my maasi's and the other older ladies as amma. But I can't address anyone else as MiL now, can I?
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4 comments:
Am glad your MIL is okay with it. In our families now days MIL's expect to be called amma and the sad part it very few husbands call the wives parents the same way!
I'm glad too. I believe if we don't retain the ways we address relationships some day we might forget them. There already are enough reasons that the future generations might not know relations like Mama,Maasi,Chacha etc. These also are a part of our culture which everyone of us seems to be keen on 'saving' :)
interesting choice..when almost an year back I asked my wife to be [that time] about this, she came back with a similar answer, but i didnt probe much as to what might be the reason of choice of atte over amma..nice to read your perspective on that..
oh btw..I had no clue you were a kannadiga :)
As long as there is mutual respect, doesnt matter what u call them. I call my MIL amma. I dont call my mom that. I call her mummy, ma, mi. Anything other than amma.
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