At that moment I felt that the guy was right. That eventually parents shall forgive and forget. May be the girl should have heeded to him. Yet I was not completely convinced. That confused me further. And only last week while returning from office did I understand what was subconsiously stopping me all this while in understandng the logic stated above. Parent, I may never have understood the feeling of being one by just observing mine. This friend of mine, who is the mom to a lovely year old gal, helps me see and understand my parents in a very different perspective. Her daughter is just one. And yet, the mother has a lot of expectations built in inadvertantly. She constantly repeats, more so to herself, that she has no idea how her daughter will turn up. And that she has no expectations from her daughter. But she can't stop herself from tryin to teach her daughter the values that she has imbibed from her parents. And that made me realise, may be this affection and faith that parents uphold in their children. They try their best to educate us so that we turn out to be good(according to their dictionary) people. And it is that faith that I did not wish to shatter.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Why I can't fall in love
For a very long time I was unable to understand as to what stops me from getting married to someone whom my parents won't approve. For a really long time I convinced myself that all said and done, I'm not a rebel. In fact when a friend of mine had made a statement as ,"Why doesn't she understand that if her parents are going to be hurt from our marriage then it will only last for a few years. Soon they'll forget everything and accept us. And this way all of us shall live happily ever after. But if she marries the guy her parents want her to she will not be happy as she is in love with me. Which will eventually leave everyone unhappy. Why is she unable to understand the simple logic? Why does she wanna leave me for her parents not approving? "
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Indian parents often try and protect their children from what they do not understand and in other words want to keep them safe. This I understand.
But they more often than not they forget that the child is the father of man meaning what their children know they will never know because with time everything evolves and changes- With new problems there will be new solutions and different takes on life.Perspective will invariably change and it is better to accept that.
I believe parents should teach children to take calculated right decisions and offer counsel and advice but let the children lead their lives and make their mistakes and learn from them just as they did.
This poem by Khalil says it all. It is so profound that every time i read it I am in awe.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
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