Most youngsters today are apprehensive towards marrying. Their major concerns are, Will we be compatible?? Will she get along with my family or would she cause rifts?? Will he respect my parents as he does his?? Would he understand and be compassionate towards my professional life??
As I understand, these were not the concerns of the earlier generations. I’m not sure, but did they ever have any concern getting married?? Like any other, even this would be a command from parents which would be executed to perfection without a word. So… why was it so easy for them?? And why is it so complicated for us??
Again my views, earlier men and women had stipulated jobs/roles to be executed. Neither of them, in general, would venture into others territory. Nor did they expect interference from the other, in the manner of help.
Whereas we, today, expect that the husband be capable of cooking, cleaning, managing the kids, get groceries and be romantic. I’m not sure if the husbands as such have expectations except, Please do not expect me to help you in the household chores and let me have the control of the TV’s remote as long as I’m at home
In a way this is justifiable. When women are venturing into the areas earlier dominated by men, (I’m deaf to those telling No one ever asked them to) and performing well, it is but obvious that they’d have to juggle with their pre-defined set of tasks and the new ones they’ve chosen to try their hands on. And in trying to do so if they expect their family (which not only includes her parents and siblings but also her husband, his parents and his siblings.) to be supportive, what is the harm??
The harm is only in not having set your expectations and communicating the same to the person you wanna marry. If the person you proposed to realizes that (s)he can fulfill your expectations then you are sure to have a happy married life. And if the person realizes that (s)he cannot fit in and tell you this, voila!! You again get to lead a happy married life (if you successfully get married.) Otherwise you’ll at least be lucky to lead a happy life.
So being kind to others, get over your apprehensions, sort out your expectations and when you find a suitable match, before you propose make sure you’ve made your expectations clear and… they are accepted. Then lead on a Happily Married Life. Sweet Dreams!!
4 comments:
A lively post !!!
Anyway cooking,cleaning,managing kids(save the night time) and all, that can be helped by a maid(need not be beautiful..ha ha) shall not make a guy resume weak...what say??
Marriages are only a matter of living in convenience...so both should and must fight for the rights untill accepted.
Totally agreed :)
Well... as I have known being able to appoint a maid is also a luxury, coz of the time restrictions.
And yes, being able to handle household chores surely add value to a guy's resume.
Well, totally accepted that there shud be a certain set of expectations that a guy/gal shud have and then only propose and accept each other. But think of a typical arranged marriage scenario. One of my friend is on a look out, he was saying that elders won't encourage talking to the gal right away. If they allow also it's gonna be a max of 15-30 minutes. What can you expect in this short time??? Practically at least in an arranged marriage scenario do you think it's possible? I wish there was some kind of different approach for arranged marriages :-)
hmm...as i always say prospective brides and bridegrooms should fisrt be in tandem with their parents..."communicate" is the key word.
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