Marriages break, more often, these days. With arranged marriages I can understand. It's a li'l (read very, very...) difficult coz you know nothing about the person until you are wed. Your decision depends solely on what and how the person has presented him/herself. I believe it is very much possible to pretend when it is a few meetings or even few hours of talk over phone, though everyday, until the wedding lock binds you.
But why do love marriages fail? Every couple claims (s)he is making the right decision, knows his/her partner well, understands him/her well, before they wed. Where does this understanding go after a couple of months/years/decades of the wedding, when you decide you can no longer continue your life with him/her?? Where has the understanding gone? Have you lost interest in your partner? Why do you feel that your partner no longer loves you? Why is it that you no longer love him/her?? Why do you wish to break off from all the obligations that seemed so sweet/caring to you before you were married?
I figured out one problem that I think effects into loss of the "understanding" that existed before wedding. Everyone has some or other shortcoming. Even I have... err... may be (not)... lemme not get into that now. Well... the thing I figured out is related to these shortcomings that seem petty when we meet/see the person for short spans. This span could be as short as spending the day at office. It would seem as though it's long, I mean, we do spend 8-10 hrs in the office, but of these we could probably be spending only 2 hours with each other. And during this time though we might find some fault(s) with the person (a li'l difficult task, I mean it's difficult to find fault with someone you love coz you love him/her so much), we kinda have a feeling that it's petty and we can easily put up with it.
But once we start living with each other these petty things become unbearable problems. And slowly you start feeling that you can no longer put up with such behavior. This I could say is similar to the task of holding a glass, which is 1/4 filled, with you arm stretched forward. It seems a very simple task initially, i.e. until you are holding the glass for a short time. When the duration is as long as an hour or even half, you realize you can't do it. It hurts. And the longer you hold it, stronger the feeling goes, of not being able to continue holding your arm upright. Guess this is what happens, the petty things going unbearable.
This, is what I think, could be one possible reason. What do you have to say??
Disclaimer: I’m neither in love nor married. :)
3 comments:
Thanks for dropping by Ken. Was at your blog. Interesting post :) and lotz of visiters too.
Take care
Good debatable topic... I guess the if the couples discuss about these small issues before marraige.. atleast they would know what in store for them
You are right art. Most of the issues are petty and need only open minded talk.
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