I was home over the weekend with my aunts (mom's sisters) and their children. Mom's youngest sister has a son who is only two and half years old. It was fun being with him. More than half the time I kept troubling him n he crying his best possible ways. Well... I once provoked him to cry the loudest possible and both of us were... er... kinda... Dad was angry with me rather than him. He's too young to understand :P. Always troubled him with chocolates n Tudtude (Kurkure in his tongue :D). Eat half of it before he could finally convince me to give it to him (by crying of course), snatch a bite while passing by him. The stare he would give me, no one can match that :).
One after when all the elders were sitting and talking, the other kids asleep, I got him to seat with me telling I'd teach him a trick with cards. I showed him a two level pyramid. He got excited. And to get him all the more interested I gradually increased the levels. When I had finished the fifth level he was overjoyed. And then all of a sudden the whole thing came down. I had forgotten to close the door to my balcony. It was breezy and this time the breeze was a li'l hard than always. I had a shocked and a disappointed look on my face. So did his. But he immediately said, "Can we build it again?" I looked at him. He continued, "Come let’s start all over again." And start he did. But his small hand and tiny fingers couldn't hold the cards steady.
His words got me thinking... 'I've always had the fear of failure. I never venture into something that I'm not certain that I'd succeed in. I do not even dare to give it a try. And this I realized now. I also realized that I must have missed so many opportunities. There have been things I have wanted to indulge into but never did coz I thought I knew there was no way I'd succeed. There have been times when I have failed at my first step and given up concluding that I won't be able to proceed further.'
This time we built a pyramid of seven levels. I had the balcony door closed this time. And then I got up to dance along with him at this achievement of ours. I also uttered that I'll destroy it to build another one again, a bigger one. And immediately he drove his imaginary car into it vrooom... Looked at me with a smile saying, "Come lets start again." I looked at him, then started crying in a way he usually does. The look on his face was worth a million. He had never expected that out of me.
4 comments:
Fear of Failure is like a mite that eats away into your soul and makes you half the person you are.The guilt of not having tried...fear of being called a looser etc are the worst sort of afflictions...They should be cast away and I am working towards this...
@ paapu- That was beautifully said!!
hehe..good one !
"I looked at him, then started crying in a way he usually does" : lol! Sahi kiya
Post a Comment