Babies have it Easy

Yea, that's what I believed till now. Now that I spend all the time with one, I come to realise they have it almost as difficult a time as we do. I remember as a kid I couldn't wait to grow up to be an adult, to be in college or working. It appeared that adults had it easy and I was slogging all the time. And when I became an adult I realised I'd had it pretty easy all the while. And that the troubles of life only started after I stepped out of childhood. Well, I now have come to realise that you always are going to have challenges to face from the time you're born. Or may be even earlier.
And another thing, babies sleep terribly. Seriously!! They do not sleep as sound as grown ups. Go figure!!

Parenting

I'm sure every parent had anecdotes that they want to share with the world. In fact I bet all the gold in the world that even the worst story tellers have boat loads of them once they become parents. Well, I'm one such. And not being close to family and friends makes me keep thinking of the incidents that I want to share with all. And I want to tell it in as much detail yet not boring manner so that the listener enjoys the moment as much as I did. Sadly all those stories are locked up in my head coz I do not make enough effort to document them. And having weak memory means I don't even tell it when I'm on call with friends and family. I'd like to have them all documented, so she can read them when she's older.
Here's a start. This is my first conversation with my Li'l star. Excuse my accent. We were just having fun.

Should female foeticide be legalised?

I guess so. Yes, Satyamev Jayate got me thinking. Frankly I hate that. It disturbs me for weeks when I watch or read about such things. I stop reading the newspaper when I read disturbing news over a few days. I makes me feel weak and worthless. And self confidence is a hard attribute to build, for most people at least. I have a lot to improve in me before I look outside. Also, it's almost impossible to deal with morally hollow people and people with no conscience.
So I was saying, female foeticide must be legalized. And I say this coz, if ever given a choice as to how I wanna die my response would be any way that is either painless or that'll be done in under 30 seconds. Yes, I do not mind being burnt alive, provided I feel no pain at all. Or drowned or any other torturous way as long as it's not torturing me. If not please put a bullet in my temple. Well, I'd like the same courtesy extended to these innocent foetuses. Why have them be born and then resented for the rest of their living? I'd hate to ever know that either of my parents doesn't love me. You would too. Also I'd hate to know that I'm the reason for my parents' sleepless nights, although they consider me a blessing. And I in no way think a baby deserves to be suffocated to death or dropped from heights or any other way of being harmed. And all this can and will be stopped if female foeticide is legalized. Much less suffering for the baby.
What will happen to the future of Indian society you say? What it deserves.If people continue to be idiots, then there will be many many more cases of rape coz there won't be enough women that the 'Kul deepak's can get married to. And then one day, when there will be like 1 girl for every 1000 or 2000 boys, India's population will come to be decent. And then, may be then, the girl child won't be loathed so much, tortured and killed after being born. Won't be considered a bane. May be even raped less. This has it's own down side you say? We'll think of it when it's time for that. I say this coz not every person is sensible. So trying to come up with a sensible solution will never work unless humans are replaced by programmable robots.
I still cannot understand how one can harm a baby? It's just not something that's making sense to me. An adult yes, but a baby? Unfathomable for me.

Breastfeeding taunt by Time magazine

Ever since I saw this cover of Time magazine I've been wanting to write about it. It's not that the cover affected me in any negative way. It's just that I now know what it takes to breastfeed. Before I had my own baby I had assumed that a baby knows, by instinct, how to feed. All you have to do is offer the food source, breast or bottle. How wrong I was I realized a few hours into motherhood. I did read up a li'l about breastfeeding and it's hurdles before delivering my li'l girl but was never really prepared for what came. Nothing surprising, but the most challenging so far in my life. Who knew that milk doesn't automatically flow out of you to satisfy your hungry baby? You have to work hard for it. For as long as you wish to feed baby breast milk. You CANNOT cheat once in a while coz you know the result could mean not enough milk for your baby. Ok, I'll do all that is needed so that I continue to produce milk for as long as it's needed. But my baby doesn't know how to latch on properly to get the best of what I produce. I am in a world of pain each time my baby latches-on. At times much worse than the labor pains. Now what?? And it is possible that things can go further down hill. Worse is that you can dry up or never produce enough for your baby. And there is nothing you can do to help the situation except formula feeding. So when I read the cover the only thought was "What of those mothers who tried their best and couldn't keep up with the challenges of breastfeeding?" Isn't this cover insulting their efforts? Deepening their pain of not being able to breastfeed their baby? And for the poor boy on the cover. Can't imagine what he may have to face once in school. Time could most certainly have done a job that was not this poor in taste.

Coo-chi-cooing

I'm not the cooing types. I've never been. I do baby-talk but it's not much. I've never really been around babies much. In fact I never approach a baby on sight. I'll wait for as long as they need to smile back at me or come near me without prodding. So a few weeks before I had my li'l angel I was concerned about this nature of mine. The more I thought about it, more I was sure that I'm not good with babies. After all during my week long stay with a friend and her 11 month old twins it took us almost 2 days for me to be able to approach them, pick them up or talk to them at will. There on I was extremely comfortable around them. But when my angel was born all my concerns were put to rest. She wasn't at an age to resist who picked her up. Good for me. And as she is growing, aware of her surroundings, it's mom's constant mention that she totally recognizes her mommy makes me confident that I can easily pick her up to soothe her. In fact I've even started cooing a li'l along with her. It helps her learn to talk I read some place. The inhibitions I have with babies I still have. It's just that I can comfortably act crazy with my baby. A change I totally like in me. After all I'm now a mommy.

Did I Really Make This??

So I keep wondering when left by myself with her. "It's just been four days", I remind myself. But I doubt that this question will ever baffle me any less. I expect that the emotions behind it will change but not the question itself. For now I'm in total awe of her, procreation and myself. I can't deny that I consider myself to be extremely blessed to have been involved in her creation. I mean having her inside me did make me feel happy and awed and other optimistic feelings. But I'd never imagined that holding her, or just watching her sleep, could make me feel so over joyed that I could cry. Cheers to the beginning of a new life.

The Big 3 - O

Turning 30, surprisingly, isn't as traumatic as shown on the series F.R.I.E.N.D.S. When I turned 25 I was super excited. I was finally going to be old enough to be not dismissed anymore. Well, as soon as u turn the age to think for yourself, you want all your opinions considered. But that does not happen for a long long time. You have to wait out your teens, then the college student years and add a few years of work experience before parents think that you're old enough to take into consideration your suggestions w.r.t big decisions. Then came the 26th birthday. I was a li'l concerned that I'd finally reached the stage where I could be referred to as Old now. That passed soon. Fast forward to 29th and I was excited again coz I'd be turning 30 next year. Almost as much as my 24th. Well, the excitement was more so coz this was my first birthday with my darling husband. Somehow all the firsts are quite exciting experiences. In a few months I'm turning 30. And I'm so excited about it. Also a li'l surprised, coz, if this were the 90's, this probably would have been a reason to feel sad for myself as I was growing "Old". Back then turning 30, especially for a woman, was considered almost the retirement age. The age after which she should give up on life's pleasures. The age after which no amount of make over could make her feel "young" or desirable. When being a mom meant that that was your only identity.
Times have changed so much. Even a 40+ woman is considered desirable today (Read about Jen Aniston here). You are no longer just a wife or mother. You have a bigger role to play. Raising well mannered children is no longer the Only aim in your life.
I can only feel blessed to have such encouraging and empowering environment around me.
Cheers to happily turning 30